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Posted by Meedo on April 05, 19100 at 19:25:18:

In Reply to: Somebody has stolen my daily memoirs, also posted by wa7id 3arabi on April 05, 19100 at 17:55:08:

:Except I do not call police bolice, I call them Iblees. I use the tease word
:with air head americans(and boy do we have a good supply of that), so I say I
:am just 6eezing you. They think it sounds cute.

:
:Also you should add you are an Arab when you are a single with little money and
:you go to the mosque to look for a hot hearty meal especially in Ramadan. 80
:percent of the attendants are those kind.

:
:Wa7id

::You are an Arab if...

::1. You say "bolice" and "bastor" for "police" and "pastor."
::2. You inherited or will inherit land in your home country.
::3. You brag about your kids even if they are bad.
::4. Your spouse is also your first cousin.
::5. Your dad eats mensef with his hands and forces his son to "join the men."
::6. You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the
::stress.
::8. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
::9. You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only
::smoke MARLBOROS.
::10. You wear more cologne than deodorant.
::11. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.
::12. You say the letter "h" like "etch."
::13. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
::14. You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family.
::15. You have more then 4 kids.
::16. You eat humus at least 4 times a week.
::17. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days.
::18. You talk crap about the abeed, but love them when they buy from you.
::19. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
::20. You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are
morally
::corrupt.
::21. You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live
::on them.
::22. You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird.
::23. You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel and talk crap about the rest.
::24. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself.
::25. You have 500,000,000 cousins.
::26. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests.
::27. You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
::28. You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay.
::29. You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic.
::30. You own and/or play a tubleh
::31. Your middle name is your father's first name.
::32. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.
::33. You play cards till the break of dawn.
::34. You never run out of bizzer.
::35. You can't have a meal without bread.
::36. You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread,"
::37. If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of
::blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
::38. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in
::them.
::39. You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get
:happy
::when they use them in normal conversations.
::40. Your Mom has a creative nick name for you like Susu, Natoosheh, or
::Tuntooneh."
::41. You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized
:version
::of it like "Sam" or "Mike."
::42. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.
::43. You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her
and
::tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as
::he does.
::44. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.
::45. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful
::businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're
::an unemployed goat herder.
::46. Your favorite food is warag dawali, but you are embarrassed to tell your
::friends that you eat leaves for dinner.
::47. You get really happy and call the whole familyto the room when there is a
::special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arab-related on CNN or PBS.
::48. You use church as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands
::49. You have a uni-brow...and if you don't, you pluck it.
::50. You bump Arabic music at all times!

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Comments: ::Except I do not call police bolice, I call them Iblees. I use the tease word ::with air head americans(and boy do we have a good supply of that), so I say I ::am just 6eezing you. They think it sounds cute. :: ::Also you should add you are an Arab when you are a single with little money and ::you go to the mosque to look for a hot hearty meal especially in Ramadan. 80 ::percent of the attendants are those kind. :: ::Wa7id :::You are an Arab if... :::1. You say "bolice" and "bastor" for "police" and "pastor." :::2. You inherited or will inherit land in your home country. :::3. You brag about your kids even if they are bad. :::4. Your spouse is also your first cousin. :::5. Your dad eats mensef with his hands and forces his son to "join the men." :::6. You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the :::stress. :::8. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding. :::9. You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only :::smoke MARLBOROS. :::10. You wear more cologne than deodorant. :::11. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull. :::12. You say the letter "h" like "etch." :::13. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is. :::14. You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family. :::15. You have more then 4 kids. :::16. You eat humus at least 4 times a week. :::17. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days. :::18. You talk crap about the abeed, but love them when they buy from you. :::19. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time. :::20. You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are :morally :::corrupt. :::21. You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live :::on them. :::22. You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird. :::23. You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel and talk crap about the rest. :::24. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself. :::25. You have 500,000,000 cousins. :::26. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests. :::27. You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it. :::28. You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay. :::29. You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic. :::30. You own and/or play a tubleh :::31. Your middle name is your father's first name. :::32. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather. :::33. You play cards till the break of dawn. :::34. You never run out of bizzer. :::35. You can't have a meal without bread. :::36. You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread," :::37. If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of :::blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural. :::38. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in :::them. :::39. You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get ::happy :::when they use them in normal conversations. :::40. Your Mom has a creative nick name for you like Susu, Natoosheh, or :::Tuntooneh." :::41. You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized ::version :::of it like "Sam" or "Mike." :::42. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup. :::43. You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her :and :::tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as :::he does. :::44. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood. :::45. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful :::businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're :::an unemployed goat herder. :::46. Your favorite food is warag dawali, but you are embarrassed to tell your :::friends that you eat leaves for dinner. :::47. You get really happy and call the whole familyto the room when there is a :::special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arab-related on CNN or PBS. :::48. You use church as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands :::49. You have a uni-brow...and if you don't, you pluck it. :::50. You bump Arabic music at all times!

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